"Most big transformations come about from the hundreds of tiny, almost imperceptible, steps we take along the way." Lori Gottlieb
Hi, I'm Holly
I’m Holly Wilcox, a licensed marriage and family therapist in the San Francisco Bay Area. I use proven modalities like cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to provide tools for a more fulfilling, liberated life. Through my own personal experiences with mental health and therapy (I have been in recovery since 2012), my eyes have been opened to a more beautiful, present way of existing. If your goal is to create more peace and joy in your life, I'm available to start walking your path with you.
All about Therapy
I offer individual therapy to adults and adolescents for issues like addiction, depression, anxiety, and relationship stress. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to therapy, and I will work with you to determine how to best meet your specific needs. At the end of the day, you will always be the expert on your own life. I'm just here to help you sort through the areas you feel stuck by offering guidance and new perspectives. I’m a big believer in the power of vulnerable self-exploration, and I’ve found success working with those who are curious and ready to look inward.
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Issues I Work With
Addiction
If you want to change your relationship to substances but can’t figure out how, it’s not because you are "weak." You’re up against a problem that’s bigger than you. Our willpower and desire to change is not enough. We need practical tools and nonjudgmental support. I have been working in various capacities with those struggling with substances for over a decade. I have worked in both inpatient and outpatient treatment settings, providing intensive therapy, education, and family coaching. As someone who’s been through it myself, I combine both personal and professional knowledge of how to break out of that painful cycle and find peace.
Anxiety
In my experience, most people who struggle with anxiety are very intelligent, perceptive, and sensitive. Often, you’ve experienced trauma that has affected your central nervous system and, as a result, your fight or flight response is perpetually "switched on." In addition to exploring underlying causes, we can use tools from cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) to examine fears and decrease symptoms.
Depression
Depression, although complex, is often linked to unresolved grief or anger that has been turned inwards and trapped inside the body. In therapy, we can explore underlying causes, hold space for pain, release anger, and create meaning. I use a trauma-informed approach that both honors the existential pain of depression and provides practical tools to find your way out of the void.
Family Conflict
You may want to repair family bonds or create healthy boundaries. Or you might still be trying to make sense of the impact of your upbringing on your current relationships and sense of self. As cliche as it sounds, our current troubles often have roots in our past -- in the messages were were taught as children. I rely on attachment theory and family systems theory to help improve current family relationships and process the impact of past dysfunction.
Life Transitions
Every transition, even the most exciting and positive, contains loss. As we enter a new phase, we lose the person we used to be. Maybe we are struggling with grief, or to handle new responsibilities, or to find purpose. I see transitions occurring everywhere in all my work with clients -- the transition of becoming sober, ending a relationship, or having children. Through my experience working with bereaved family members at a hospice, I learned the importance of honoring change without trying to ignore or rush through it. In therapy, we can hold space for grief, re-examine values, and create new meaning.
Relationship Issues
Improving our relationships starts with ourselves. It starts with our willingness to turn inward, identify our insecurities, get clearer on our attachment styles, and improve our communication skills. Sometimes it requires sifting through past relationships in order to heal old wounds that keep popping up in new relationships. When we learn how to get vulnerable and honest about what’s really going on, our relationships radically improve. When working with relationships, I use attachment theory, emotionally-focused therapy (EFT), and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to combine self-awareness with practical skills.
Self Image
I feel called to work with those who may not have been supported or validated in their earlier lives, who are now feeling the resulting low self-esteem that often comes from not being fully seen and heard. If you struggle with low confidence, passiveness, poor body image, or insecurities, we can work on building a strong sense of identity by healing past trauma, strengthening boundaries, and clarifying values.
Teen Issues
Working with teens is one of my passions! I have worked closely with teenagers and families on issues like anxiety, depression, body image, peer issues, suicidal ideation, addiction, and self-harm since 2018. I currently offer individual therapy for teens, which focuses primarily on building emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal skills, as well as navigating issues like school, social media, and identity.